nickety split

In Which The Word "Chocolate" Appears Five Times In One Paragraph

2007-04-09T22:22:00.000-06:00

I still can't believe my blog just reappeared like this. Yay!

I'm thinking about signing up here. I totally love this idea, but I'm such a non-committer. Really, I'm already doing this a lot anyway, but the idea of signing up for it makes me balk.

This weekend was N's 5th birthday. That blows my mind--FIVE YEARS OLD. Craziness. In about two weeks, J turns 1. That also blows my mind. Does this mean I'm getting old? My vote is no. My skin votes no too, by breaking out horribly. It seems terribly unfair to be getting crow's feet (I squint wayyyyy too much) and zits at the same time.

N had a great birthday party, full of far too many superhero-type presents and lots of sugar. I made him a black forest cake, and when he saw it he asked me where the trees were. It was really really good, and since I made too much (I always overdo it--better than not having enough, right?), I ate tons. I'm still reeling from the sugar binge. The next day was his birthday proper, and the kids got masses of chocolate from the Easter Bunny. Even Baby J got a giant chocolate Spongebob, which I guess means I got a giant chocolate Spongebob. I was absolutely not going to ply them with chocolate, but Grandpa had other plans and took on the role of Easter chocolate pusher. According to my sister, I am an Easter Scrooge.

There is more to say, but I am so so so tired today. All day I have been longing to go to sleep, and now that I can, I'm here on the computer. Dumb. I squint when I'm tired--more wrinkles! Gah.

Whoa. Dude.

2007-04-04T00:12:00.000-06:00

I haven't posted in forever because I couldn't access the blog forever. After I made the switch to New Blogger, I couldn't sign in on either Ye Olde Blogger or Blogger the Seconde. Tonight I decided to just create a new blog (I was going to create it here on Blogger, I guess since it had obviously worked so well last time?), but this one was suddenly, magically accessible! Weird. Whatever. Opening this page has had the usual effect of emptying my mind of anything interesting. I'm so back, baby!

To sum up the last however long it's been (time for my beloved bullets!):

I have too much to do
I have too little time to do all I have to do
winter sucks
early spring sucks too, since around here it is indistinguishable from winter

Okay, it's late and that's all I've got tonight. But I'm back! Woo!

Remember Me?

2007-02-02T23:43:00.000-07:00

Good Lord, has it really been over a month since I last posted? Shame on me.

Some updates /excuses to use bullets:

N has started at a new school. It's a Montessori school. I think it's grand, except for the zoo-like atmosphere at pick-up. N thinks it's kind of dull, mostly because when we were scoping it out, he played with a Transformer toy which he hasn't yet had the opportunity to play with again. He is pining for that toy. His entire notion of what this school would be like was based on the twenty minutes he spent with that toy.
G is sporting a shaggy hairdo, since I tried to trim it and he suddenly developed palsy, localized in the head and neck. Consequently, I coached him to, if questioned, blame his new look on a roving pack of rabid beavers. The shag actually looks pretty cute on him, especially now that I braved the scissors again and trimmed up the mullety bit in the back.
J is crawling and pulling up on everything. He can climb the stairs. He likes to bop along with music. He has five teeth and more on the way. He likes to stay up late. His poop has suddenly lost its harmless, breastfed, unstinkingness, and has become with toxic sludge. This makes me sad.
My cat is still randomly urinating outside the catbox. Always near the back door, always on an article of clothing that has been carelessly left on the floor. This morning it was on N's hat. Gross. I am no longer dosing her with the stuff that makes her foam at the mouth, just scooping the catbox at least twice a day (usually more) and doing regular inspections of the area to make sure there isn't anything tempting her to whiz on it.
I recently found an old semi-industrial sewing machine at my favourite thrift store. I paid $8 for it, and got it tuned up for about $75. I am quite delighted. I just picked it up from the shop today and have yet to try it out. Thrills! I am a sewing nerd.

That's about all I've got for tonight. I'm pooped. I tried to go to bed when the kids did, but the baby had other plans for me. That baby, he knows how to par-tay. Whoo.

test

2007-01-01T00:21:00.000-07:00

Thud

2006-12-14T18:34:00.000-07:00

That was the sound of me falling right off that daily posting wagon.

I am this close to eating whipped cream straight out of the mixing bowl. I can't decide if that means today is a good day or a bad day.

Husband went to San Fransisco yesterday for a business meeting. He was kind enough to go to Anthropologie while he was there, and buy me a dress to wear to his company's Christmas party. He knew my size, and he has a good enough idea of my taste to pick out one that I liked. I would love to link to an image of it, but I can't find it on the site any more. It looks really cute--until I put it on. It has pintucks which make it look as though I have big, puffy hips and belly. Just what every girl looks for in a dress. Hrm. But I can't exactly return it, since we don't have any Anthropologie shops in these here parts. I may look into returning it online--but for some reason, it doesn't have tags on it. ??! So I may be stuck with a very unflattering dress.

I am still hopeful that I can whip up something in the lovely black satin I purchased recently. I will probably remain hopeful until the afternoon of the party, at which point I will sigh heavily and wear a perfectly nice dress I can finally squish myself back into. And then I will spend the evening trying not to breathe.

Frankly, I should just be glad this is the biggest problem I've got right now. I need to stop whining and go to bed.

Surprise! It's More Negativity!

2006-12-03T21:39:00.000-07:00

It's inching closer to 10 pm. All three kids are still awake. I've completely given up on the older two and am trying to ignore them. They're not making it easy, as they are alternating between making loud, mirthful sounds and loud, peevish sounds. There are none of those silent, sleeping-child sounds I am so fond of. I am keeping mum because I'm fresh out of mirthful, and if my mouth opens I fear flames will shoot out of it.

I should have known this would happen. We spent the day visiting my sister and her kids, and Sparkles the guinea pig, who is their weekend guest. Whenever we return home after a day there, they seem to need to cram in a full day's worth of shit-disturbing on their own turf. I don't know how they didn't get it all out of their system there, because they were like crazed little animals. But, like usual, they found some magical reserve of energy as soon as we came home--which also happened to be 1/2 hour before bedtime. WHY DO I NEVER LEARN?

In other news, the cat's kidneys are fine. She has been prescribed antidepressants (boy, that apple didn't fall far from the tree!). Apparently, this antidepressant has the bonus side-effect of helping to cure mild urinary tract infections (which she has), on top of its main effect of chilling cats right the hell out of their propensity to pee where they shouldn't (which she also has). So, as far as we can tell, the reason she's peeing on the floor is that she's a big, fat stressball. I wonder if my crazy is contagious? I feel a bit ridiculous giving antidepressants to my cat. But then, I feel a bit ridiculous cleaning up cat pee every day, so I'll try on this new ridiculous.

Praise Allah or whoever you like, it is finally quiet upstairs. Down here, there is another poopy bum to change, and then it's time for B. E. D.

Worst. Mom. Ever.

2006-12-02T16:35:00.000-07:00

I hate myself.

This morning I got up, glanced at the clock, and thought, "Hmmm, must call the vet when they open at 9:30, to see about collecting the cat." Then we got ourselves and the kids ready for a Christmas party, and went out to see Santa. On the way home I glanced at the clock. 2:45...hmm, later than I thought...am I forgetting something? Isn't there something I was supposed to do--OHMYGODTHEVETCLOSEDAT1:30!

I completely forgot my kitty. And now she's there until MONDAY. I feel like such a douchebag.

They assured me (in the three messages they left while we were out) that she'll be checked on this weekend--but the poor girl is in a strange place full of strange sounds and smells. I am a bad, bad person.

Bad.

Update: Less than 1/2 hour after I posted, the vet called! He went in to check up on her and another cat, and phoned on the off-chance I was sitting morosely beside the phone, hating myself. I was there in 6 minutes. Yay!

haiku et cetera

2006-12-01T22:11:00.000-07:00

sweet little baby
i love you so very much
please stay asleep now

My middle left finger is so dry that it cracked on the tip. This makes typing uncomfortable. In case you were wondering.

Although the Internet Sensation known as NaBloPoMo has officially ended, I am still compelled to post. Even though it's a Friday night and I should be at a party with Husband, I was too lazy to secure a sitter. So here I am.

My kids have been expelled from their first school! What a heartwarming moment. The director of the daycare asked me to provide them with a month's notice of withdrawal, in writing, because I was "choosing to withdraw them" rather than give them the flu shot. I told her I would prefer that she give me a month's notice, in writing, since I'm really not making that choice. She seemed surprised, but at the end of the day, she did just that. So now if there really is anything fishy about their policy, I haven't signed my rights away. Either way, I'm just glad I stuck to my guns.

My kitty is having a sleepover at the vet tonight. Or so I told N. I dropped her off this morning so they could collect blood and urine from her, and by the end of the day, she still didn't have a full enough bladder for them to get the urine. They said I could bring her back in the morning if I chose, but she has a nasty habit of peeing in the carrier (stress, I guess), so I figured this was the most painless way for all of us. Poor girl, I hope she's not too freaked out.

Now I'm off to spend what's left of my evening cutting fabric for Christmas presents. I haven't worked on that for a few days now, and it's been eating away at me. December, man! How did it happen so fast?

Wow, I'm boring. Aren't you glad I posted?

NaBloPoMo, It's So Hard To Let You Go

2006-11-30T15:22:00.000-07:00

I'm already feeling all nostalgic for November and the daily posts. But not enough to keep at it through December.

This morning I found that the cat had peed on a piece of water-resistant fabric I'd left on the floor. Being crafty and impervious to grossness, I grabbed a breastmilk storage bag and poured the pee in. I took it to the vet for testing today, and they called to tell me the cat has signs of kidney damage. She goes in tomorrow morning for bloodwork. I'm worried, but I'm not freaking out until I know more.

My neatfreak visitors have still not arrived--I thought they'd be here a few hours ago. I could have napped! I'm going to attempt to doze with baby J. They'll be sure to come soon if I do.

Last Day!

2006-11-30T00:11:00.000-07:00

Technically, it's November 30th now. So why the hell am I still awake?

I was just tidying the kitchen, and rather than empty out the last few ounces of red wine left over from the weekend, I decided to drink it. Three sips later, my head was spinning. I have never felt that spinning head so literally. I couldn't read for the dizziness. I kind of wanted to go up to bed so I could lay down, but I was afraid to attempt the stairs. In a minute or so, it faded. Did I just have a bad wine trip? So much for it helping me go to sleep.

Tomorrow my husband's aunt and cousin are stopping by on their way through town. Suddenly I am seeing my disastrously messy house through their eyes. Even though his cousin is a young mom with two kids (not so little any more, but still), she has never in her life had a house that was not scrupulously clean. Thus the compulsion to tidy the kitchen at midnight. Tomorrow I will mop, or so I tell myself now.

Here's hoping the juniors sleep late tomorrow.

Just In Case

2006-11-29T20:48:00.000-07:00

Here's a quick post in case the computer gets all weird and freezes up again.

Or in case I pass out from exhaustion.

Or in case I forget later.

Or in case my husband takes over the machine and won't let me use it before midnight.

Or whatever.

(Look Ma, no bullets!)

p.s.

2006-11-28T21:53:00.000-07:00

I
love
bulleted
lists

Crazy Going Slowly Am I

2006-11-28T20:48:00.000-07:00

I'm coming apart.

This happens every so often. I let little things pile up, and then some big things sneak up and knock me upside the head, and I stay up too late without actually getting anything accomplished, and then I forget to buy coffee, and things start to unravel. I cope with it by freezing like a deer in headlights, watching the large Mack grille loom ever closer. And I clench my jaw a lot.

So, as much as I've enjoyed this month's NaBloPoMo festivities, I am very excited about the end of the month. One less obligation to fulfill! Now I'll have an extra ten minutes or so each day, which I can spend wringing my hands about all the stuff I'm still not getting done. 'Tis the season, I suppose.

It doesn't help that it's about 90 million degrees below zero (with wind chill!), making it nigh impossible to leave the house. We braved it today to go to an indoor playground. Some defining moments:

The closest available parking space was a fair hike to the building. The colder G gets, the more slowly he moves. It was a long, long, long, long walk.
Once inside, the kids were happy to drink from the public water fountain. And dribble it down their fronts. And dip their sleeves into it. And get very, very wet. Which feels so refreshing when it's 90 million degrees below zero (with wind chill!).
Not that I could talk them into leaving the playground anyway.
So I dragged them, pouty and whiny, to the front desk to ask if there was someplace they could wait inside while I fetched the car and brought it to the door, sparing us the long, long, long, long, very, very wet walk through 90 million degrees below zero (with wind chill!).
The kind ladies directed me to the child care area, and even gave me a free 1/2 hour. Not only did I get the car, I used the bathroom without watching someone wiggle under the stall door and run away!
When I returned to collect the kids, they were extremely disappointed to see me. They didn't care that the car was idling outside, getting all toasty for them and draining the tank of pricey fuel. There were toy cars here. Lord knows they don't get to play with those very often.
G zigzagged away as I moved to lead him away from the toy cars he loves more than his own mother. I lumbered gracelessly after him while baby J, who was tied to my chest, merrily clawed at my face and pulled my hair. Pity radiated from the child care staff.
I dragged them, pouty and whiny, into the car. They fell asleep about four blocks from home and were sufficiently re-energized to tear the house apart before dinner.

Good times.

Still In It!

2006-11-27T23:43:00.000-07:00

But it was close.

It's late, and I've been waiting impatiently for my turn to use the computer so I could post something. Now I'm tired and crabby, and I need to grab a snack before bed, so once again, the blog gets the shaft.

But! But! Christmas gift inspiration has struck, and I am currently making a few gifts for family members. I hope they don't suck. The gifts, I mean--we won't go there about the family.

Stress

2006-11-26T22:18:00.000-07:00

gifts--which to buy, which to make (tick tick tick)
house--hostess duties this year; must clean toilets more often
kids--acting like wee hooligans
school--threatening to bar kids from attending if they aren't vaccinated with flu shot
cat--peeing and pooping on floor
baby--not sleeping well
laptop battery--about to die and cut off my post

T-Minus 5

2006-11-25T20:16:00.000-07:00

I am not feeling well today (wouldn't it be ironic if it was the flu?). But I did manage to pull myself together long enough to whip up a pear-raspberry crisp with almond topping, so now I'm nursing myself back to health with that. I'll let you know how that works.

Too tired to post more...hopefully I have at least one more good post in me before November is through.

NaBloPoMo, You've Turned Me Into A Terrible Hostess

2006-11-24T23:18:00.000-07:00

Because instead of talking to the people in my house, I'm typing on my computer. While they watch. I'm a terrible person.

Thanks, NaBloPoMo. Thanks a lot.

Parents Just Don't Understand

2006-11-23T22:21:00.000-07:00

You know what's sad? Exchanging witty banter with someone via the comments section of a blog; making what would be a 23 second dialogue last instead for a few days; relaying the wit to your mom via telephone whilst feeling all saucy and clever about this exchange; and being met with the equivalent of cricket chirps.

Is it more sad that I'm posting that?

Also, I'm pretty sure I just totally abused my semicolon key.

me :: punctuation
Achilles :: heel

ONE WEEK LEFT! Let the countdown begin!

Day 22! Whoopty Doo! I Like To Rhyme! All The Time!

2006-11-22T23:40:00.000-07:00

Okay, just some of the time.

So I wasn't even hung over this morning after my NaDruWriNi. Yay me! I guess it was a good idea to get the heavy drinking (shut up, for me, that was heavy drinking) out of the way immediately after dinner. By bedtime, my buzz had pretty much worn off. A couple of extra pints of water, and I woke this morning feeling extra tired but otherwise none the worse. It may have been better if I'd felt like death this morning. Now I'm cocky.

One of these days I'm going to have to do something with this template--jazz it up a bit. I haven't had a spare moment yet. It kind of feels like moving into an apartment without any furniture. I need to hang up my pictures, artfully toss a few cushions, unroll that area rug. This site looks dulldulldull. One day, pets, do not fear.

My roommate and I actually did that when we moved into our first apartment. We were so excited to be moving out of that hellish little town, we went a few days ahead of our furniture. We slept on the floor, and realized only when we were hungry that we also had no dishes or pots to cook in. We borrowed a couple of things from a nearby friend and cooked up some Kraft Dinner. We ate from a large measuring cup. That was a good day.

A question to ponder through the night: why is Lego so damned expensive? I leave you to it, internet--I expect elucidation on the morrow.

I TOtally Forgot What I Was Going To Call This Post

2006-11-21T21:02:00.000-07:00

So this isit, my NaDruWriNi. I was going to link that, but I'm too lazy right now. Maybe tomorrow. I'mon my 2nd or 3rd glassof wine. Yay Tuesday! Dropping the kids off at school tomorrow is going to be all kinds of cool--I'll just keep my sunglasses on.

Whatever, I'm already the subversive weird mom. I nursed G one day before his nap because I happened to be there, and one of his teachers was astounded. Now I'm digging in my heels about the flu vaccine. They will probably just look knowingly at one another if I show up with a hangover.

I'm feeling a tad bitter about this vaccine business. Does it show?

Wow, I really am drunk. Realy drunk. I'm such a lightweight! Flyweight? I don';t know the difference. My typos are making me smkile. Whateber smkile is. This is only funny to me. And growing funnier. **sip**

I'm trying to reconcile myself to being an introvert. I wish I were more extroverted. I would love to have more friends. There are a couple of ladies in particular that I really enjoy hanging out with, but I never seem to find the time. Then I feel like a douchebag for not making the effort to call them.

"Extroverted" makes me think of "perverted." **sip**

Because I like lists:

I Am

Canadian (and the Canadians will get this as the beer reference it is. I don't drink beer, which N calls "beard")
a terrible housekeeper
a cat person
evidently a cheap drunk
newly interested in hockey (the playoffs last year pulled me in)
REALLY SICK OF MY CAT PEEING EVERYWHERE
broke
a Scorpio
born in the year of the Dragon (guess how old I am?)
on the verge of giving away all the plants I forget to water
getting reacquainted (did I spell that right?) with my old love, coffee. Not at tgis moment, mind you
sad that I have drunk all the wine
grateful that there isn't any more wine, because I would drink it
done with this list

Why don't I get drubk more often? (Tomorrow I will tell you why.) Whee! I will regret it if I am successful, but I an going to search out some more wine.

Fortunately---or not--I have truly drunk all the wine. Now I am goingg to play some Guitar Hero with my sweet baboo. Yippee!

This was fun. I think I should do it again before the month is through.

Not Tonight Honey, I'm Too Bitchy

2006-11-20T22:48:00.000-07:00

Our Christmas tree is up. This was not my idea. Leaving the jack-o-lanterns on the front step to watch their faces collapse? Totally my idea. I'm awesome at forgetting they exist--until someone comes to the door and is forced to stand near them. At least it's too cold for flies.

I'm still trying to deny the fact that Christmas is coming, though it's a little harder to do so with the intrusive twinkling happening in our living room. It's also hard to do with the intrusive draining happening to my bank account.

I was going to go further with this, but it's just going to make me grouchy.

Not Tonight Honey, I'm Too Tired

2006-11-19T20:49:00.000-07:00

Can't stay awake.

More tomorrow.

Enough Balls--Bring On The Boobs

2006-11-18T22:25:00.000-07:00

I would like to gather the bra-makers of the world in a room and knock their empty little heads together.

I was going to clarify that my wrath was reserved for the makers of cheap, ill-fitting bras. But then I got all pissy that the good bras cost so damn much, so I'd like to crack some posh skulls too.

I've been bra shopping, can you tell?

I'd like to know why a band size can't be the same from brand to brand. It's a measurement! Why is one brand's 34 smaller than another brand's 34? And for that matter, I don't even want a 34--a 32 is a better fit, but they're impossible to find in the cheap section. Since my cup size is fluctuating on a pretty much hourly basis (due to that whole lactation thing), I refuse to shell out for a bra that will probably not fit me for very long.

Then again, maybe it will. I am currently wearing a bra so old and ratty that I feared it was going to just crumble into dust, leaving my boobs unfettered and unsupported. And dusty. Yes, I've definitely gotten my money's worth out of this one.

So that's one bra-maker who escapes the skull-thumping. The rest of them? A bunch of useless tits.

Barbara Jamie Bearden Kilpatrick: January 18, 1977 - November 17, 2006

2006-11-17T22:33:00.000-07:00

She died today. I am so profoundly sorry for her children, and for her husband.

I don't feel much like writing. I thought I'd cried enough for this family I've never met, but apparently I'm not done yet.

I'm going to go eat some dessert, and give surreptitious hugs to my sleeping kids.

Fuck.

Scarred Children, Unscarred Balls

2006-11-16T21:14:00.000-07:00

The kids and I spent four hours at the childrens' exhibit in the museum today. On the way home, they passed out, so I pulled into the garage, turned off the car, and took the baby into the house, leaving the bigger kids to sleep for a bit longer. Once I'd nursed J back to sleep, I went out to wake the big guys--only they were already awake. And freaking out.

The poor kids had awakened to find themselves strapped into their seats, alone, in the dimly lit garage. They'd screamed for me for at least a few minutes before I meandered out there. My bad. Hopefully I'd banked enough Good Mom points at the museum to outweigh that little whoopsie.

So D thought he was getting a vasectomy today. (Screw lunch--the genitals of your significant other are a great source of post material!) As it turns out, the appointment was just a consultation, to give him an overview of the procedure and provide him with his specimen cup, which he doesn't need until March, when the actual procedure will take place. Why the heck would they give him a specimen cup now?

I'd like to wrap this up with a happy thought about the reprieve granted to my husband's scrotum, but we've just scarred another child. Baby J has a cut on his finger and is bleeding, and is requiring my ministrations.

Needles, Christmas, & Testicles--Yeah, Baby

2006-11-15T19:57:00.000-07:00

I just loooooove it when I spend the majority of my day finding information online, sift through it to pick out the relevent bits, then try to print what I need, only to find that 1) I'm out of paper, and 2) I'm out of ink. Dagnabbit.

I'm trying to find info to back up my position that my kids don't need the flu shot. Their school says they do. Because it's located within a seniors' continuing care centre, and they implement a multigenerational program (the kids get to hang with the oldsters from time to time), their policy is that every child in attendance must be vaccinated. I understand where they're coming from--they're just doing their best to ensure that everyone, young and old, stays healthy and safe. And I'm doing the same for my kids--I just happen to feel that electing to not inject my kids with the flu vaccine is the best way to keep them healthy and safe.

I'm worried that, although there is no law stating that the vaccine is mandatory, they will refuse to allow my kids to attend without a dose of the flu vaccine in them. Then we'll be back to square one, finding a suitable school (with a different vaccine policy) and getting the kids settled there. N has really come to like it there, and G is getting comfortable now. I would hate to shake up their routines again.

Sigh.

In other news, I bought a couple of Christmas presents today! It's a small dent, but it's a dent. I am having a hard time accepting that Christmas is coming so fast. You'd think all that snow outside would make it a little more real for me, but I can't seem to face facts.

Other, other news: D goes tomorrow to get his "nuts cut." His phrase, not mine. Baby J is the very last amazing, beautiful, little person to grow inside me. Which also means he's the very last actually-not-so-little person to force his way out of me. I am looking forward to one day getting some sleep, hopefully within five years.

One more thing: HALFWAY, BABY! HALFWAY!

Make Mine A Double

2006-11-14T20:12:00.000-07:00

The kids and I attended an attachment parenting group today. It was nice, I suppose. A good enough reason to hang out with some like-minded moms--and someone had brought cookies, which can pretty much make any function a good one, in my book.

But there was one comment that sort of irked me, and is still nagging at me a bit. The mom who had invited me said, as she watched my boys run about, "Watching your kids makes me realize that my son isn't so wild and crazy after all--he's just a boy." I'm sure she didn't mean to imply that my sons were misbehaving (although they could have been a little more subdued). Yet she was kind of implying that my kids were at least a little out of control.

Maybe I was just feeling defensive. Mine were the oldest children in attendance, and the most (hyper)active. They weren't hitting anyone, or grabbing toys from anyone, or being mean--but they certainly were running. And climbing.

Enh, whatever. I don't have any new insights about moms picking at each other's self-esteem. I just felt a little deflated. And that didn't exactly make me want to return for the next meeting. Maybe I'll go with a mini-bar in tow! That'll sure smooth over all the rough edges!

Slinking Back To The Keyboard In Shame

2006-11-13T22:21:00.000-07:00

Alright, alright. I'll try for something at least a little wordier, if not more rewarding, than that last post.

I'm a little down today. No real reason. But I'm going to come up with a list that highlights some of the good stuff about today.

We went to the museum's very cool childrens' display, and my kids had a BLAST.
I got to hook up with a friend and her little boy at the museum.
I bumped into someone I'd met this summer, and she was just as friendly today as she was then.
I also bumped into another acquaintance and got to see her cute new baby.
My coffee was reeeeally good this morning.
People weren't driving like douchebags today!
I finally got a pile of laundry put away.
Chocolate bar. Mmmmm.
The baby finally went to sleep! And stayed asleep when I put him down!
It sounds trite, but I really am thankful for the health of my family.

Okay, I feel a little better now. Thanks, internet!

Also, I feel the need to celebrate a belated NaDruWriNi. Not tonight, probably not tomorrow night, but soon. Ish. God, what a brilliant idea. Look for drunken ramblings coming your way soon!

haiku: "copout post"

2006-11-13T20:41:00.000-07:00

i am so bitchy
the diaper pail is stinky
go to sleep, baby

Babies Are The New Black

2006-11-12T16:26:00.000-07:00

J is the Ultimate Party Baby. He accompanied us to a housewarming party on Thursday, and last night he was my cute accessory at a welcome-home-from-Australia-you-lunatic party. He is happy to gurgle and smile at people, and when he's tired, he just cuddles up to me and goes to sleep, music and chatter be damned. I might just need to start cultivating a social life.

Another Link, And The Day I Wanted The Earth To Swallow Me Whole

2006-11-11T09:56:00.000-07:00

Let me start by directing you to a blog. This used to be a run-of-the-mill sort of blog, but recently it has become the chronicle of a family in crisis, as well as a beautiful love story. A mother of two boys is fighting for her life, felled by a mystery infection. Her husband updates frequently, and his love for her is truly something to behold. ****WARNING**** If you are feeling emotionally fragile right now, or you're having your portrait taken and don't want puffy eyes or something, maybe wait until later to check it out. But do check it out.

Also, I am going to share an embarassing story with you. No, the embarassing story, the one that makes me physically cringe.

G was delivered at a birthing centre. It's a hospital that works in tandem with a midwifery program, and it's covered by our provincial health plan. It's a pretty ideal setting for someone who wants the care of a midwife, but isn't willing or able to shell out the thousands it costs for a midwife assisted home birth. So we made the long, long 45 minute drive (although I think we managed it in 30 minutes) with my contracting bulk writhing about in the front seat.

I was really looking forward to labouring in a pool. I mean, I wasn't looking forward to the labour part, but if it's gotta be done--and often, it's gotta--then the pool was where I wanted to be. G was born into the water, and we remained in the pool, cuddling and nursing, until I delivered the placenta. After that, it was time to get out, shower, and relocate to a warm bed. Baby G was with his daddy, and the midwives were busily filling out papers and attending to other administrative chores. I needed help to heave myself out of the pool and waddle to the shower; the task fell to the nurse, a youngish brunette named Marie.

I hadn't formed a real connection with the nurse. We hadn't met prior to that night/early morning, and she was rather business-like, in contrast to the huggy midwives. I had been so wrapped up in each contraction I'd scarcely noticed her, except that she'd made me lay on a bed with a monitor wrapped around my belly--hospital policy--for what seemed like ages before I was allowed to clamber into the pool.

Now everyone else had retreated, and Marie and I were left to wrestle my oddly deflated body out of the water. She grasped my arm at the elbow and took my hand, and pulled me out of the flotsam to a standing position. As I stood on wobbly legs, Marie bent beside me supporting my weight, a large gush of post-partum gore surged out of me and fell into the pool with a splash. Marie jerked slightly and froze. We stood motionless for a moment before I looked down and saw her wiping her face with her sleeve. I had just splashed this woman in the face with blood from my crotch.

I wanted to die. I wanted to apologize profusely--though she tried somewhat to downplay it, her disgust was evident--but my mortification rendered me mute. I was too horrified with myself to speak. She helped me to the shower, and I stayed there as long as my legs would hold me, trying to prolong the moment when I would have to face her again.

I never said anything to her. What could I say? "Sorry about that" just didn't seem sufficient. "Whoops, didn't mean to spray you with gore from my ladyparts" seemed to make it even worse. So I said nothing, and we tried to pretend it hadn't happened.

Over two years later, I still blush to think of it.

Mystery! Intrigue! And Some SHOUTING!

2006-11-10T17:30:00.000-07:00

Here in the nitty-gritty suburbs, my driveway was the scene of a sting operation last night. And I missed it!

While I galavanted at a housewarming party, falsely secure in the vanilla-bland safety of my 'hood, there were UNDERCOVER COPS in UNDERCOVER VEHICLES parked in MY DRIVEWAY. They were surveilling someone in MY CUL-DE-SAC. Now I am consumed with curiosity--who were they watching? Why?

Were they watching Ed, the guy who washes his car more than anyone I've ever known? Were they watching Motorbike Guy, the guy with the large, stupid dog? Were they staking out the house that's full of yappy little dogs who poop, willy-nilly, all over the grass and sidewalk next to our house? Maybe our next-door neighbours, who excavated a giant hole in their backyard, then stopped all work, leaving huge piles of dirt to wait until spring. What's going on in my neighbourhood? I MUST KNOW!

You Can Take The Girl Out Of The Ghetto...

2006-11-09T15:06:00.000-07:00

Tonight I am going to a housewarming party for my husband's coworker and his wife. They are genuinely great people, but I'm always intimidated by outings such as these. Maybe I should have a drink before we go. Nothing says "class" like showing up bombed. At 6:30.

One drink will get me pretty buzzed these days, but I used to be made of slightly tougher stuff. As a young whippersnapper, I had a penchant for vodka mixed with pretty much anything. During my student days, my roommate and I had a shelf decorated with empty vodka bottles of various sizes. It was something of a focal point in our apartment, pulling the eye from the filth of our carpet. The only vacuum we owned for a year was a Dustbuster, which came in handy all those times we tipped ashtrays and littered the place with butts and ashes. It wasn't good for much else. It certainly didn't do much when we spilled our vodka mixed with Grape Kool-Aid, which was our drink of choice for a time.

That apartment was on the lucky 13th floor. Our door was nestled in the corner between the stairwell door and the garbage chute. Cozy! The view was of the back alley and a parking lot. The elevator smelled like urine and the stairwell smelled like pot and the garbage chute smelled like a rotting carcass on the very hot August weekend we moved in--but just like regular garbage after they pulled the rotting carcass out. The story we got was that it was an animal carcass, and I choose to believe that.

The house we're going to tonight is across town and a world away from that apartment. It's spacious, bright, and immaculate, and I'm reasonably sure there won't be a whiff of rotting flesh, animal or otherwise. So I'll be really embarassed if I spill a vodka-Grape-Kool-Aid drink, or tip over an ashtray.

Dig it!

2006-11-08T12:55:00.000-07:00

You Are Red Orange

You are a very genuine person, although it takes a while for you to show the true you.
A bit introverted, you desire respect and affection from those close to you.
You are quite empathetic, and you have a true concern for the well being of others.
Many people have warm, heartfelt memories of you - even if you don't remember them well.

What Color Red Are You?

The big kids are finally back at school today. Aaaaah, sweet quiet. I got to shop for groceries with just baby J, which is how I like it. I sipped a coffee while I puttered and meandered through the store, and ended up spending a metric buttload. Ah well, now we have more options for dinner than tomato soup.

Now that the commotion and flurry of children is safely contained elsewhere, I can start to think about sewing again. After the madness of making their Halloween costumes, I needed a little breather. Now I need to start thinking about the dress I want to sew myself for the company Christmas party. Fun! I haven't sewn clothes for me in ages. I might get ambitious and draft my own pattern--we'll see. Can't wait to get cracking!

Linkety Link Link

2006-11-07T19:20:00.000-07:00

Here comes some linkage for all y'all. Carrying it forward after Gus showed me the same kindness. Great idea! Let's spread that NaBloPoMo love!

Kate is having a bad day. That's a shame, since she just had a birthday, and I like to ride that birthday wave for as many days as possible. Here's hoping tomorrow is a happier one!

Badger is shopping with her mom, to the tune of a Tracy Bonham song. I like that song. I like shopping with my mom, too. Heck, I just like shopping.

Andrea is feeling glam today. She's doing the self-portrait challenge! Ooooh, I want to do that! I am not at my most glam today, so it shall wait.

Besides, I have an appointment to RAWK with my beloved. He brought home Guitar Hero II, and we need to get our respective grooves on. Be cool, stay in school, and link, link, link. Peace out, yo!

Holy Guacamole

2006-11-06T21:07:00.000-07:00

All my kids are asleep. At the same time. This is highly unusual. I should have a drink to celebrate.

Baby's awake. Now I really need a drink.

Pee to the Oh to the Oh to the Pee

2006-11-05T14:43:00.000-07:00

I would like to post about something that is not poop. Sadly, there is nothing else happening in my world right now.

There is much gastrointestinal distress happening in my house. Last week, N had about a half day of squirty-bum. Then G succumbed, and he squirted for the better part of a week. Now that he's improving, it's bounced back to N. And of course, baby J is always a squirty kind of guy. Throw in the cat's mess (on the mat beside the back door), and I am officially overwhelmed. And my hands are about to bleed from all the washing.

I can think of all sorts of fascinating posts when I'm not near the computer; my charm and wit are at their zenith. As soon as I sit down at the keyboard, my fingers fly to the p and the o and the o and the p.

Apologies.

In other news, my dad is working in the area right now, so he came by yesterday and spent the night. It's great to have his company, especially as he's an incredibly handy sort of guy. He'd only been here a few hours before we had three new doors (picked up with his truck) in the basement, and one mostly installed before bedtime.

It's really special to watch my husband interact with my dad. There is obvious respect and admiration, a genuine bond that deepens whenever they spend time together. My dad is a great teacher, and my husband is his willing student. I feel very lucky to have two of the most important people in my life enjoy one another's company the way they do.

And, thank God, neither of them pooped their pants today.

How to Generate Vaguely Entertaining Post Fodder--In Five Short Days

2006-11-04T13:19:00.000-07:00

Day One

Attend children's party. Notice that your child refuses all snacks.
Return home and watch as your child vomits and suffers multiple bouts of diarrhea. Think about all the other children he played closely with that day.
Discover that you have left your purse at the party.

Day Two

Call party hostess to warn her of possible contagion; learn that two other children have shown signs of illness.
Forget to pick up purse.

Day Three

Forget to pick up purse.

Day Four

Forget to pick up purse.
Go to grocery store to buy two items; bring $0.06 less than total price of two items.

Day Five

Call hostess to let her know you will finally be coming to pick up purse; receive no answer.
Repeat above step--all day.

I wish I could say it was all for the blog...but really, it was just a pretty typical week.

Trois

2006-11-03T12:02:00.000-07:00

Now that G is finally more comfortable with school (ie, not shrieking and monkeying up my leg as soon as we near the door), he has conveniently become grossly ill, and thus unable to attend school. He's not so ill that he wants to rest quietly--heaven forbid he get any extra sleep! No, he's just ill enough to periodically squirt poop out of his Pull-Up, then continue his (now stinky) reign of terror.

Yesterday I was also ill, though fortunately not with G's squirty-bum problem. My symptoms were more along the lines of raging-headache-and-narcoleptic-tendency. I kept dozing on the couch, waking to find the house in greater and greater chaos. Often the kids would be mysteriously absent, while the muffled crinkling of Halloween candy wrappers emanated from behind the closed pantry door. I was just glad they were being quiet.

Unfortunately, after a few pit stops in the crinkly pantry, they were anything but quiet. They were careening from crazy game to crazier game, pausing only to shriek at one another in either rage or glee--it was becoming harder to tell which was which. My strategy of lounging on the couch, imperiously commanding them to "hush please," and frequently falling asleep was no longer effective. They were officially Out Of Control. And their father was working late.

Bedtime was too painful for me to revisit here. Let's just say that eventually they collapsed, and leave it at that. I went to bed as soon as I was sure they weren't faking it, waiting for me to sleep so they could get up and resume the crazy-making. I awoke this morning to G, who'd clambered onto my bed, oozing poop from his Pull-Up. Goody.

There is no moral to my story. There really isn't even a point. Wait, there's a point--three days down! Twenty-seven to go! Woohoo!

And it only took me three days to get into the poop-talk.

Ack

2006-11-02T09:01:00.000-07:00

I do believe I've been poisoned.

Last night I baked some potatoes for dinner, and some of them had green on them. I cut off most of it, but I don't think I got it all. Through the night and this morning I've been fighting waves of nausea and a massive headache. The kids didn't eat theirs, thankfully. Who would've thought it would serve them well to only eat scoops of sour cream, cheese, and bacon bits?

This is not exactly an auspicious start to the month's posts.

Once More With Feeling

2006-11-01T00:16:00.000-07:00

Holy crap, I actually did figure it out! Then I failed to figure out that I'd figured it out!

Figures.

Here We Go!

2006-11-01T00:05:00.000-07:00

Okay, that last post? Where I thought I'd figured something out? I was trying to link back to Fussy with that graphic, not the seal generator. So much for feeling like a smarty.

So this is my first NaBloPoMo post. It's officially November 1st, as of five minutes ago, and if I post now I can buy myself a little more time before the next one is due. Random thought: I think I need to fix the timestamp on my posts.

I'll try a real post next, but right now I'm so tired I could barf. See you tomorrow! I mean, later today! Whatever!

It Took Me Way Too Long To Figure This Out

2006-10-27T12:01:00.000-06:00

I done gone and signed me up.

YEEHAW!

Weekend Update

2006-10-22T23:09:00.000-06:00

I have a cold.
G has not been liking school one little bit. He's starting to hate it a little less, but still says "No school day," every time we leave the house to go anywhere.
I am making the kids' Halloween costumes. Ssssssslllllloooowwwwwllllleeeeeeee.
My cat has, I think, a UTI. This means that twice a day, for two weeks, I have to get 1 mL of antibiotics into her. It really, really sucks.
Taking a freaked out cat to the vet with three little kids in tow also really, really sucks.
I should be in bed.

Getting Ready To Cut The Umbilical

2006-10-01T23:08:00.000-06:00

Please excuse my melodramatic hand-wringing in the last post. Of course, as soon as I voiced my concerns publicly (I am pretending I have actual readers) about N's dislike of school, he became much happier and relaxed about it all. Turns out the kid was--get this--shy. Crazy!

Now I have a new crisis to plague me--tomorrow G starts going to school. I have no idea how he's going to take it when he realizes I'm leaving him there. I've taken him there a couple of times to introduce him to the staff and other kids, and he's seemed comfortable enough...though I don't know how, since it's so chaotic. A room full of toddlers is a room full of total insanity. But then, he's my son, so he's used to insanity.

I hope it goes well tomorrow.

Hey! Who Turned Off The Summer?

2006-09-18T21:39:00.000-06:00

One day was a lovely 27 C, the next was rainy and miserable and frigid. I think we used up all the lovely this year, we've just moved straight into sucky cold. Bah. Why do we live here again?

One plus to the fall season is SCHOOL! N started a new school this year. Actually, it's a daycare (which causes me to suffer spasms of guilt), but it has a kindergarten program which runs through the regular school year. Although N's a bit young, he was placed in the kindergarten room. While he isn't enrolled in the kindergarten program, he gets to do all the stuff they're doing. I was pretty excited about that. And so was he, when we toured the place. But now he tells me he doesn't want to go. I'm so saddened by that.

Part of my dismay is because in October, a spot opens up for G to attend as well (not in the kindergarten room, obviously), which translates into a lot of free time for mumsy! If N doesn't want to go, there isn't really much point in taking G. I'm not interested in schlepping them all over town to different places on different days at different times. A big plus for this place was that both kids could go at the same time, and there aren't a lot of options besides daycare for a 2 year old.

Another thing that's really bothering me is that I feel like I had N pegged totally wrong. "Oh, he'd be fine anywhere there's kids to play with," I told people. "He's so social, I feel like he'd be shortchanged if he stayed home with me all the time. He needs to spend more time with other kids." Now he tells me he really doesn't want to go to school, he wants to stay home with me, he misses me so much when he's at school... And I feel like a jerk for having had such expectations of him.

So now, while I work with his teachers to get to the root of the problem, I'll also be looking into new schools, just in case. Because it wasn't fun enough the first time. Fun like a fork in the eye.

Besides the joy-turned-misery that is the onset of the school year, fall also brings with it the compulsory lung-crushing illness--not for the kids, for me. And at our house, a bonus skin-blistering illness! G has hand-foot-mouth disease. The "disease" part makes it sound pretty terrible. The skin-blistering part makes it look pretty terrible. As far as I can tell, G feels fine. He just looks like his hands and feet have been attacked by venomous insects. When the sores first erupted, Daddy-O was rather disturbed by their pustulence, and suggested that maybe he shouldn't be playing with the same Lego as N. This caused N to back away from G in horror, screaming "NO DON'T TOUCH ME GET AWAY LEAVE ME ALONE," while G, blissfully clueless, thought it was a new game, and chased a terrified N around and around the house.

Good times.

G's leperous episode has not detracted from his potty prowess. He has already mastered peeing standing up, thanks to his older brother's instruction. He is really getting the hang of this toilet business...and I hope he has it totally nailed down very soon. It won't be long before we have numerous layers of winter clothing to deal with, and all the extra time-sensitivity that adds to the equation. I'm imagining myself racing through a crowded mall with lollygagging kids in tow, trying to peel off G's snowpants while juggling the baby, looking in vain for a nearby bathroom. And let's not even discuss how much I look forward to seeing G plop his lil' junk directly onto the ever-so-sanitary rim and brace himself with his hands against the sparkly clean toilet bowl as he pees. Eeew. Maybe diapers wouldn't be so bad for a little longer. Maybe we'll just stay in until spring.

In The Dictionary Under "Nerd," You Will See This Man's Photo

2006-08-30T17:13:00.000-06:00

Today we were to have furniture delivered for the basement. Two guys arrived this afternoon and tried to muscle it down the stairs, but after grunting for a while (I presume moving furniture was all they were doing), they came up and sheepishly admitted they couldn't get it down there. And they had punched a hole in the nice, new wall. So I called the Husband to let him know. He immediately left the office, drove here, and took measurements of the stairwell. Then he went back to work and, using his stairwell measurements and measurements of the furniture, made a 3-D simulation of the furniture going down the stairwell. According to his simulation, it will fit and the delivery guys are useless lumps.

According to me, I married one of the biggest nerds in the universe.

731 Days

2006-08-19T21:29:00.000-06:00

Two years ago yesterday I met my lovely G. I loved the way he gazed at me as I held him to my chest, naked and wet. I marvelled at his dark hair, his dimpled chin, the way he settled at the sound of my voice. What an amazing little boy.

Happy Birthday, G. I love you madly.

2006-08-09T14:48:00.000-06:00

I'm in a weird place right now. I feel like I keep opening my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. My thoughts are all scrambled around, and I fear that if I were to let them out I would be totally incoherent.

More than usual, I mean.

But I'm going to try to cobble together a post, as a sort of exercise of will. Also because N is at school and G is napping, so it's a good time.

We went to my parents' farm this weekend. It was a really nice visit, if you discount the total lack of sleep inflicted upon me by the little darlings. The kids got to run about on a giant lawn, more than double the size of ours, and then Grandpa took them golfing. They each got to drive the golf cart and eat junk food, and do more running about on even more grass. And swing clubs around at each other. Nobody suffered any concussions or even any bruises, so it was a smashing success in my books.

Of late I have been much easier to live with, as I have re-restarted the meds. On the lowest dose, I am approximately eighty-three bajillion times more sane, and people don't break out into blisters when in close proximity to me. Yippee! I am looking for some kind of therapeutic person to talk with also, since I'd like to get to the bottom of what exactly is going on with my brain. I don't think I have any trauma to work through, I think I'm just one of those garden-variety imbalanced sorts, but talking it out might be helpful. And if not, at least I can say I tried.

That's about all the coherence (such as it is) I can manage at the moment. I really have to scrub bathrooms today. The grime is causing me no end of guilt. I have filthy bathrooms! I am a terrible mother! Must go assuage guilt with Lysol.

Blah de Blah Blah

2006-06-28T23:36:00.000-06:00

It is damned hot here this week. I'm not complaining, since we get precious few hot days here in the Great White North...but it makes it hard for the kids to sleep. Especially since G insists on having at least one blanket on him, more if he sees an extra one in his room. I think I'll make him a blanket out of cheesecloth so he can have a blanket on him and not wake drenched with sweat. Today he learned to say "hello" and he was sooooo proud. I was too--yay for verbalization!

N is having a sleepover at his cousin's house (my sister's house). I availed myself of his absence to do some shopping. Shopping with three little kids is a special kind of hell, and nobody should have to do it. I spent a few hundred dollars on bars to put in the windows, since N has taken to climbing up the walls to stand on the window sills so he can lean on the screens ON THE TOP FLOOR. I have had numerous heart attacks this week, what with the wall-climbing and the window-perching and the patio-door-opening and the running-outside-without-permission. Whatever N does, G does, or at least tries to do. It's only a matter of time before I have to take one or both of them to the ER with a broken bone or two. And I haven't even mentioned how N can now open doors which have those childproofing doorknob covers on them. So now he can let himself into the pantry which I thought I'd safety-fied, where he climbs the shelves and helps himself to various junk food, including several choking hazards. Short of electrifying the shelves, I'm not sure what to do about this.

Today I got a haircut. The experience was uncomfortable for several reasons. First, the hairdresser was very quiet. I expect bubbly chatter from my stylist. I may not always be in the mood for it, but I expect it nonetheless. She may have been quiet because she was annoyed with me for bringing J along. I asked her if she had kids, and she said no, so I think she has no mommy sympathy and doesn't understand why some whacko would bring an infant to a salon. (Note: I am a stylist whore. I don't see someone regularly, don't even go to the same salon regularly, so we didn't have that rapport going.) Also, instead of sleeping the whole time like I hoped he would, he fussed and then shat up his back. I tried to nurse him while she cut my hair and I think she saw some nip. So it wasn't the relaxed experience I was going for.

I liked the haircut a lot for a few seconds. Then she showed me the back and I didn't like it so much. I asked her to change the back a bit, and she did, somewhat. I turned my head differently and liked it better. Then I checked it out in the rearview mirror on the way home, and didn't like it again. My mom's reaction: "It'll grow." Thanks Mom, you couldn't fake it any better than that? There's nothing wrong with the cut, but it shouldn't be on my head. It's giving me some kind of butchy Sporty Spice vibe that I just am not feeling. I played around with it a bit tonight and discovered that if I part it differently, it looks better. So there is hope for me yet.

Reason #98,796,210 that I married the awesomest guy ever:

Last night I asked him to help me paint my nails AND HE DID. They looked like crapola, but he helped! That's true love, baby. I tried to remember that as I sat with my fingers curled so the hairdresser wouldn't see my clumsy paint job and scorn me. Why do I care what she thinks anyway? I really had the impression that she thought I had terrible taste in hair and it pained her to give me this cut, and that I was weird and presumptuous to bring J.

I'm getting all weirded out about the impression she has of me. I need to settle down, maybe pop a placenta pill. There, now you have a freaky impression of me too.

TWO MONTHS!

2006-06-26T23:40:00.000-06:00

J is two months old today.

Holy crap.

To celebrate the occasion, he is refusing to go to sleep. Isn't that sweet? He just wants to hang with his momma. I'm so touched. Also exhausted. I think I'll gift him with a nice, lengthy session in the swing while I watch (through my eyelids) from my bed.

Oh my word--he just dozed in my arms, and is smiling and cooing in his sleep. Could he possibly be any sweeter? Truly, he is such a doll.

There is so much more to say, but no time. Ugh. Plans are in the works for some spare time for me this summer! I am going to sew and belly dance and save the world! And post!

Bits and Bobs

2006-05-16T21:20:00.000-06:00

Wow, is it ever hard to find a minute to post. The kids have finally all sacked out, though G fought the sleep valiantly--and loudly. And now my brain is starting to slowly unfurl from the fetal position and wipe the drool from its face (can a brain have a face?).

For the most part, going from two kids to three has been so much easier than it was to go from one kid to two. G's infancy almost broke me. This time round, it seems so much more do-able. Granted, I am much more sane this time. Yay for drugs! Sanity notwithstanding, there are moments in every day where I start to lose the ability to think rational thoughts, and if I were to verbalize what goes on in my head at those times, it would probably sound something like heep heep heep heep heep. Those are the times when N needs a snack RIGHT NOW, and G has an obnoxiously stinky butt, and J wants to nurse IMMEDIATELY, THANK YOU VERY MUCH, and the phone is ringing and the cat is underfoot because she'd like some kibble please and we were supposed to be somewhere five minutes ago and even though it's not yet ten in the morning a martini is looking mighty good. But those moments pass. I haven't even had a martini yet.

Today was a really nice day. I inflated the pool, to see if it was still in one piece after laying neglected on the ground all winter. It was, so I filled it up, and we spent the afternoon outside. G clambered in fully dressed, before I was finished toting out bucket after bucket of hot water to stave off the hypothermia (ironically, I almost passed out from heat exhaustion). Seeing this, N immediately stripped naked and joined him. So much for trunks. After a while, G allowed me to take his wet clothes off him, and the kids ran around naked all afternoon. I was careful to put lots of sunscreen on their white butts. J slept almost the entire time, and I relaxed in the shade of an umbrella, yet somehow still got pink shoulders. When I finally convinced the kids to come in, I threw their pruney asses into the tub to warm them up (which felt silly after being outside in the blistering heat), and to rinse off the dirt and grass clippings. Good clean fun.

I'm cutting this post short, as I just remembered I have a placenta in my kitchen that needs attention. Yum!

That was more than you needed or wanted to know, I'm sure.

At Last

2006-05-01T20:46:00.000-06:00

Babywatch 2006 has ended, thusly:

On the morning of the 25th, I dropped N at school, and G and I went to a nearby mall to chill at the indoor playground while we waited on the shops to open. While I was buying supplies to finish some diapers, the lady in line behind me asked when I was due, and I replied with, "Any moment now, God willing." As I said it, I realized that the Braxton Hicks contractions I'd been feeling were getting downright uncomfortable, and suddenly a light bulb blinked on over my head. This was a very interesting way to begin labour--the two previous times, I was sort of dropped into the middle of active labour, no wind-up. I felt a thrill in my tummy (in between the tightening of the contractions) that this could finally be it! G and I hustled off to N's school to collect him, since I was expecting labour to come on fast and furious soon, like the other two had, and I wanted to get him before I was unable to drive. Ha!

We came home, called the appropriate people (DaddyO, the midwife, my mom, the aunt who had offered to look after the kids if necessary), and waited. And waited some more. After lunch, I went to bed and managed a nap. Upon waking, I decided things were starting to pick up (about time, I thought), so we summoned the midwife. I was pretty sure we'd have a baby by dinnertime.

By dinnertime there was no baby. I was feeling some back labour, and was getting tired again, so I ate a slice of pizza and went back to bed. I think it was around 8:00 when I woke, and now I wanted to be in the pool. So in we went; now I was aiming to have a baby by about 10:00. 10:00 came and went, and still there was no baby. By now we had determined that he wasn't positioned properly, and it was just taking time for him to get where he needed to be. All the counterpressure techniques we tried to ease the back labour seemed utterly useless, so we tried every position we could think of to help move the little dude down and out. Eventually I left the pool to try a couple of other positions, and at long last my water broke, with amazing force. At that point, the baby seemed to literally fall into position, and I needed to be back in the water now. I practically sprinted back to the pool (now there's an image), and just fourteen minutes later, at 12:50 am on April 26, J was born.

He arrived face first, which explained why he was such a long time coming--that's a tough way to come into the world. But he was perfect and lovely, covered in vernix and ready to nurse. And poop. He gifted me with a little wad of meconium before we'd even exited the pool. Nice to meet you too, kiddo.

He's snoozing beside me as I type, his eyelids moving around as he dreams--of what? I have to touch the soft fuzz on his head, I can't stop myself, and he makes a small noise without stirring. This is what I've been waiting for.

It was worth the wait.

I Am A Watched Pot

2006-04-23T22:33:00.000-06:00

And therefore I shall never boil.

My houseful o' family has all gone home. My mom was here, my sister and her kids spent a night, and my little brother stayed here for a couple of days, but they've all dispersed now, and we are alone again. Waiting.

In other news...

I like to sew. I make baby carriers, or rather, I used to. I haven't touched them since fall, and I've had a bunch sitting in a plastic bin in my garage, doing nothing. Suddenly there was a resurgence of interest in them, and in the space of just a few days, I've sold eight. One of the buyers wants more (to retail) when she sells through the ones she's just purchased. I feel like such hot shit.

I've also been making diapers for the new kid (in case he ever decides to vacate the womb), and tonight I tried a couple of new tricks with my old pattern. I love it! It seems a bit silly to get so excited about a diaper, but I'm really jazzed about it, especially as it may even be a source of income. Of course, I don't foresee having any spare time to sew for the next little while, but in the future, it's entirely possible--especially once N is in kindergarten next year and G is in preschool.

Also of note: my mom gave us her old video camera, which is nice since our camera was stolen last year. Now we can tape the birth if we like, or at least get some footage of the little heel-dragger once he's on the outside.

So aside from this pesky pregnancy going on and on and on, I'm feeling pretty great. Maybe this kid is just giving me a little extra time to get my crap together before he brings total chaos to our life. Thanks dude!

BabyWatch 2006

2006-04-19T21:33:00.000-06:00

Here I am. Still pregnant. This pregnancy thing? So nine months ago.

Saw the midwife today, and she advised me to not be too impatient (my earliest "official" due date isn't for another 9 days, after all). Yeah, right. My back is killing me. My arse is enormous. I have to pee every five minutes. On the plus side, I'm nesting and my floors have never been cleaner. Today my mom entertained the kids while I crawled around on my hands and knees and scrubbed the floor with a brush. The resulting clean floor made me so happy I wanted to roll around on it, maybe lick it here and there. Never before have I found cleaning to be so gratifying. Is this how it feels to be a neat freak? It's the closest I'll ever get, I'm sure.

My mom is here, and is also eager for me to have this baby before she has to leave on Sunday. So the pressure's on...but the baby is still comfy in his little hidey-hole and seems to have no intention of leaving. My cousin suggested I run up and down the stairs while drinking castor oil and touching my nipples. But I declined--no way I could handle all those stairs.

I'm bagged. I need to go to bed and sleep for about a week. Does that mean I'm going to go into labour tonight? Wishful thinking. But I'll keep wishing...

Still Pregnant...Still Sick

2006-04-13T10:06:00.000-06:00

I'm counting the days until this baby arrives. I feel like I'm in a race against time, trying desperately to get everything ready before the Big Day. I'm so ready to have this baby...but I'm so unprepared. The preparation is beginning to feel unimportant to me, although I'm still compelled to sort laundry and diapers, and mop the floor, etc etc.

It's a full moon. Lots of women have babies when the moon is full. I am not having a baby. I feel cheated. But still a bit relieved--a little more time to get things ready! Time to scrub a bathroom!

Last night we tried putting the boys in the same room at bedtime. Considering G's inability to sleep anywhere but in his own crib in his own room, I think it went okay. We were only up half the night, not the entire night as I feared. G slept for a while in N's bed with him, and then moved over to the toddler bed we moved in for him. There was much fussing, but there was actually some sleeping too.

Yesterday N was supersniffly, and coughing a bit. Today he's coughing a lot, and sniffling even more. I even gave him cough syrup, and it didn't seem to help a bit. I'm so sick of sickness! I would love for everyone to be well before this kid shows up. But can I wait that long?

Really, I'm not due for another couple of weeks, so I don't know why I'm so impatient. Why am I anxious to have someone waking me up even more than my bigger kids already do? To have someone who requires a thorough cleaning of their butt on an almost hourly basis? Someone who would like nothing better than to be permanently attached to my boob, even when I need to eat or sleep or go pee?

I guess it's time for a change from the feet in my ribcage, the leg cramps, the pressure on my bladder, the occasional six-hour unbroken stretch of sleep...

What To Expect When You're Expectorating

2006-04-01T22:46:00.000-07:00

Wow. My head is so full of mucous right now. So are my lungs, which are rejecting it via disgusting coughing fits. My head, however, is jealously hoarding all that mucous (so if you were wondering, you can't have any--I know, you're devastated), and now it's seeping into my ears. So while the sounds of the outside world are becoming muffled, I can hear my own wheezy breathing very very clearly. The last time I had an ear infection, I wanted very badly to remove my head. I hope this time doesn't cause as much pain or warrant as much medication. I'm trying not to drug the baby up too much--that said, THANK GOD FOR TYLENOL COLD PM. You can take it when you're pregnant! Happy day!

I'm also liking these antibacterial throat lozenges I picked up, because they quell the nighttime coughing, and I think they make my teeth feel less fuzzy in the morning.

2006-03-27T20:13:00.000-07:00

In the beginning there was a blogger, and she did blog, and it was good.
Or something like that.

To start off this blog, here's a list of Things About Me.

1. I am Canadian, eh. Yeah, it gets pretty cold here.
2. I am an ovo-lacto vegetarian (heavy on the lacto).
3. I dig my family, immediate and extended.
4. I have two sons, aged 3 and 1, and another on the way.
5. I hate to be late, but I am never on time.
6. Television mostly bores me.
7. Cats or dogs? Definitely cats. Even though mine are retarded.
8. I have an aversion to socks.
9. Lists make me happy.
10. Reading and writing: good. 'Rithmetic: very very bad.
11. Pregnancy gives me nosebleeds.
12. Also, a fat bum.
13. Also, a bad back.
14. I don't like putting my head underwater, in the pool or in the bathtub.
15. I'm really sleepy and that's all I can come up with.

I guess the wit will have to wait for another day.