Wednesday, August 09, 2006

I'm in a weird place right now. I feel like I keep opening my mouth to say something, but nothing comes out. My thoughts are all scrambled around, and I fear that if I were to let them out I would be totally incoherent.

More than usual, I mean.

But I'm going to try to cobble together a post, as a sort of exercise of will. Also because N is at school and G is napping, so it's a good time.

We went to my parents' farm this weekend. It was a really nice visit, if you discount the total lack of sleep inflicted upon me by the little darlings. The kids got to run about on a giant lawn, more than double the size of ours, and then Grandpa took them golfing. They each got to drive the golf cart and eat junk food, and do more running about on even more grass. And swing clubs around at each other. Nobody suffered any concussions or even any bruises, so it was a smashing success in my books.

Of late I have been much easier to live with, as I have re-restarted the meds. On the lowest dose, I am approximately eighty-three bajillion times more sane, and people don't break out into blisters when in close proximity to me. Yippee! I am looking for some kind of therapeutic person to talk with also, since I'd like to get to the bottom of what exactly is going on with my brain. I don't think I have any trauma to work through, I think I'm just one of those garden-variety imbalanced sorts, but talking it out might be helpful. And if not, at least I can say I tried.

That's about all the coherence (such as it is) I can manage at the moment. I really have to scrub bathrooms today. The grime is causing me no end of guilt. I have filthy bathrooms! I am a terrible mother! Must go assuage guilt with Lysol.


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